The Gospel According to Veronica

(translated from a recent archaeological find: The Book of Most Ancient Hebrew Gibberish)

3:17-20 And so it was that a Hence did become wisely advised of these myths and dreams. And He was shewn visions of fallen Temples. And it was knowne to some sprites and spirits and faeries that these mighty structures did not fall by accident, nay but by intent, design and the magick of trickery. And the Hence was so taken as to display His wrath upon the land, and to cast these spirits unto the Great Abyss.

3:21-22 And lo, at this the mighty Hence did rise up, and there was a great gnashing of teeth throughout the land, and a severe darkness did fall, and women did wail, and some did cry out in desperation 'Help us Lord, for we are but the lowliest of truthlings'. And He taketh up His rod, and did comfort them, saying 'Takest thou this plane, and do hug it mightily, for it is written that it will be thine comfort in thy darkest of hours, until the Great Light shall shine upon thee, in thy newest ordering of thine world' .

3:23-24 And though they be sore afraid, they did likewise they were told. And so it came to pass that He moved among them, and they did cast flowers and wreaths at His feet, and brought Him the finest of wines, and He did bless them all.

3:25-27 But even after all sacred blessings, there were still those naysayers abroad. And they did approach the Hence, and did say unto him “Lord, how come thou knowest all that complicated stuff?”. And He did cast a glaring eye at them, but was given to speak softly, so that they might understand, and be not alarumed.

3:28-30 And it came to pass that the Hence did tell them “I have seen Visions, in the ancient caves where sacred spirits dwell. I have seen, with mine own eyes, the shadows cast upon these walls by the technological means of flickering lanterns. And be thou not afeared, for I have consulted the Ancient Runes of Hufschmid at great length, together with the profits”.

3:31-32 And He did admonish them truly, and sayeth “Go now, about thy business, and in doing thus thou shalt spread my word. Blessed be the Truthlings, for they shall inherit the earth. Domine es Requiem et Novus Ordo Seclorum”.

3:33-35 And in the south, aye and to the west of that place, in the lande of the Califs, there dwelt a mighty Gryphon. And his power was such force, and his magick so great, that he could appear and disappear. And it came to pass that the Gryphon heard the Word of the Hence, and that of others, and did transcribe this Word unto Tablets.

3:36 And such Tablets were dispatched far and wide - ere even to other landes and tribes - in ways to swell the Gryphon's coffers.

3:37-38 And so it was that the mantle of peace, which fell upon the land, was passed from the Hence to the Gryphon, who did take it upon himself Henceforth to appear in many places, dispelling doubts wherever he so spake this Word. There came one time a Holmgren, who did approach with great caution, and yea a question ask, saying "Gryphon, hast thou seen the facts? Please answer yea or nay. Hast thou been misrepresented, thy Holy Truthliness?", by which cause the Gryphon did once more, and with great alacrity, immediately disappear.

3:39-40 And verily, even as this all came to pass, a Learned man from the north, wise in the ways of mystics and alchemists, did ponder with furrowed brow upon bangs and large explosions. And oftimes he was wont to speak of calculations beyond the realms of human countenance.

3:41-44 And even as this Learned man did speak, there arose a great cheer throughout every realm and province. For within his utterances were felt a great joy, and a great relief – aye even unto all those who were considered ungodly. And he did say “Tarry awhile, do not rush in judgment of these bangs and loud explosions. For within their depths there lieth many hidden and divine truths, and these may yet explain why things fall down”.

3:45 And so it was that a millennia did pass, and the people did grow weary and impatient with tarrying, and some did fall upon the Learned One, saying “Alchemist, hast thou not considered sufficient explosive substances and bangs to decide whither things fall down?”

3:46 And the Learned One did gaze upon them sternly, saying “In matters of the mystics, it is unwise to question the holy works of thine Alchemist”.

3:47-49 Nevertheless, taking pity on their unlearning, He would latterly gaze upon them softly, even as a father may kindly look upon a favoured son, or a farmer gaze upon a field of flourishing wheat, or a carpenter may gaze upon his chickens. And he did say, with authoritative tone ”Yea, verily it is reasonable that things fall down, aye even mighty Temples. And this is a wisdom that may transcend throughout the ages. But I caution ye – this may only be hypothesis”.

Here endeth the first lesson. For ever and ever. Amen